Janet Little

in

The Sky is Falling



One day while Janet was walking down the street she was hit in the head with a rock (A group of bored boys were throwing stones at anyone who happened by). She looked up and only saw the sky, down and saw only the gravel road she was walking on. "Oh my!" She exclaimed, "The sky is falling! I must warn EVERYBODY!" So she quickly ran to her van, threw it into gear and drove as fast as the van allowed (Keeping the speed limit in mind), and didn't stop until she was at the park. Even when she was at the park she didn't stop, even after driving across the grass, until she found a large group of people. She the jumped out of her van and climbed to the roof. Once on top she began to shout, "Friends, strangers, animals, everything listen to me! The Lord has tasked me with delivering a message. The message he has told me is this, THE SKY IS FALLING!!" At this point no one in the park could hold in their laughter. "Why do you insist on laughing? I speak the truth, the word of God!" She was no longer shouting but screaming, and tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"I believe you."

"Huh?"

"I believe you."

"W...who said that?" She asked slowly beginning to stop crying.

"Me. I am known as Fido. I am a dog."

"Come then quickly. We must warn others. There's plenty of doggie treats in my ash tray." With that the two quickly hopped into her van. As Janet was starting the engine she pulled open the ash tray, "Eat up.", she said, and Fido did.

Minutes later she pulled up to the bishop's chapel. After rushing in the middle of mass and delivering her speech, Janet and Fido were quickly dragged out by the ushers. The entire congregation was in hysterics. "I believe you Janet."

"Who believes me"

"I do Janet. Break me down and I will help you, I love you." Replied a granite statue of the archangel Michael. So as any other sane person would have done she went to the back of her van grabbed a car jack and her skate board. She then used the car jack to knock the statue loose and the board to roll him to the car.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that day Janet and her companions were on their way to tell the president what they know. By that time the number of Janet's followers had grown. Now along with Fido there was a shopping cart, a shrub, two clocks, and a flock of pigeons. Janet was glad she sold all the seats, other than the driver's to a rat the previous week.

When the group could finally see the White House, Janet accelerated so that the inconveniently placed fence out front would not stop them. After she was through the fence, she pulled up to the stairs in the front, and loaded all her companions into the shopping cart. The pigeons were tied to the handle by their feet like balloons trying to break free. She pushed the cart towards the Oval Office as fast as she could, but was quickly stopped by some secret service agents. Fido leaped from his spot in the cart and attacked the unready agents. "Run", he shouted in the air, "I'll hold them off you go to warn the president!"

"But you mi.....", Janet began to say in protest.

"NOW!" And with that Janet ran down the hall to the Oval Office.

The door to the oval office was open, and unguarded. As Janet entered the office she realized that it was empty, but she could wait as long as it takes. After all he is the president and is probably meeting with foreign delegates. There was however, noises emitting from behind a door. It sounded to Janet like moans. So she let curiosity get the best of her and opened the door. Standing there was Clinton with some skank-whore giving him a blow job! In the Oval Office's closet, the president get blow jobs, Janet was disgusted, but didn't have time to worry. "W..what is this? Who are you?" demanded Clinton.

"I lost my contact and Buba was helping me..." The skank-whore began to explain, As Clinton zipped up and turned red in the face.

"I don't care skank-ho. Listen sir," Janet explained, "The world is going to end, the sky is falling!"

"Wha... what are you talking about? The sky is falling? How did you get in here? How did you get out of the asylum?"

"My friends helped me," She plainly stated motioning towards the cart. The pigeons had relived them selves on the sofa. "But that doesn't matter! We must warn those public people who don't know! And leave here now, to some place under ground!"

"Whoa there sexy wait a second I have one more ques..... GUARDS! GUARDS!!!"

Fat boy shut up and call the press!" But before she could say more she was dragged out by secret service agents. "THE SKY IS FALLING!! I SWEAR , THE SKY IS FALLING......"

"Now Monica, where were we?" Asked Clinton starting towards the closet unzipping his pants.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hours later in Washington D.C.'s Institute for the Crazy........

"No doctor," Janet was saying, "The sky really is falling. And what did they do with my friends? What ever happened to Fido?"

"They were animals and inanimate objects, not friends. Also the sky is in the same place as always." The first doctor answered writing "The most severe case of schizophrenia I have ever seen."

"Maybe," The second doctor whispered, "We should double her medication"

"No, her meds are fine."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few weeks later out side the institute as Janet is being discharged.....

"Good bye Janet," Started the first doctor, "Have a good lif....." But he was cut short as the sky was falling and crushing him, and every other thong they could see on the street.

"See," The second doctor said on his dying breath before he was completely crushed, "We should have doubled her medication."

"Fuckin' El Ni�o" Janet screamed on her last breath.

And now everything on Earth was crushed, the people in the park, in the church, Clinton and Monica in the closet, and everyone else. No one survived.


Morale:

Always double the meds.



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